THANK YOU FOR YOUR GIFT

Thanks, Eric, for the jpg. of you doing the flip on the skateboard in the snow, whatever it’s called.  I am sorry you broke your elbow and we are all proud of you.

Thank you Alice for that big roasting pan.  I still feel bad about the grease thing at Thanksgiving.  I hope the grafts are going well.

Thanks Lucille for the coffee grinder. I think you should have warned me the little decorative beans were not really beans but stones made to look like beans. I’m grateful they didn’t look like cashews. Did you keep the receipt?  I’m assuming there is a guarantee, given it’s Finnish and top of the line.  I know this because I tried to get a refund already, but not until after I broke it.   I need to supply a receipt.  Otherwise I wouldn’t be bothering you.

Thanks Silvia for the garden Buddha.  In a humble spirit of gratitude I will re-gift it. I feel unworthy of yet another elegant reminder of the fact that I have taken a detour on the path to enlightenment, but maybe it wasn’t really me on it but the illusion of ego.  In any case my garden already looks like there was a suicide bombing at a monastery and heads and feet and torsos flew everywhere.  The torso may in fact be Greek, not Buddhist at all.  I will keep that.

Thanks Bob and Marilyn for the bovine slippers.  The black and white fur trim really got my heart rate up when I fell asleep with my feet up on my recliner.  Thought a skunk was about to spray my ankles with its perfume.

Which brings me to you, Mom.  How many times do I have to tell you I don’t wear cologne?  I don’t care if it’s Hermes or Herpes.  I’m sorry you don’t think my natural body smell is worthy of being in the world.

Happy 2014.  368 shopping days until next Christmas.

3 responses to “THANK YOU FOR YOUR GIFT

  1. You got an Hermes scarf and you’re not re-gifting it too me?

  2. OMG. This is hilarious! I really did laugh out loud.

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