This is a contest to name the stupidest object ever created, whether by man or the S. O. B., Supreme Omnipotent Being.  Whether I am qualified to referee the winners is open to question.  I saw the opening when my plastic louvered blinds cracked and crashed to the floor when I tried to raise them.  O heap of useless plastic.  Okay, I was the one who bought the stupid things, but that’s another contest, under Stupidest Thing I’ve Done This Week.  Come back tomorrow for that announcement.

I’ll start.

1)             48-inch plastic blinds

Enter as often as you wish.  Prizes: first place, a week in Disneyland.  Second place: 2 weeks in Disneyland.  Third place, 3 weeks in Disneyland.

I know, a stupid joke.





  1. Bibles are way up there.

  2. For me, it’s a toss-up between:

    (1) the poly-styrene dice people hang from their inside rear-view mirrors (“Let’s see, if I hang them right here, I can obscure my driving vision AND announce I’m a driver who is gambling with your life. SWEET!”), and

    (2) the kind of clear, impossibly strong plastic that’s used to package all sorts of products from kitchen utensils to kids’ toys. (“We’ve done it! We’ve made a package that can’t be opened. If they try, they’re either going to break their teeth, sprain their fingers badly or, best of all, if they get a jagged edge open with a knife or scissors, and try to open the rest, guaranteed they’ll sever an artery.”

  3. The designated hitter

  4. Louis Bixenman

    I have no nominee at the moment, only an observation. This contest has clearly sent you back to read Roget cover to cover and enlivened your prose immensely. Keep those contests coming. As for my second-place finish in the eighth grade Catechism contest, I’ve long suspected it was because of some inappropriate relationship between you and the good monsignor judging the contest, which has left me eating my heart out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s