My brother submits, people who don’t use their turn signals.

For obvious reasons we instituted a rule at the start of this contest, persons are ineligible, but no sooner had the ink dried (metaphor) than we admitted celebrities, the assumption being it is the celebriti-ness of the persons and not the persons themselves being proposed, and that, in any case, celebrities are not real people, certainly not real in the way people who don’t use their turn signal are real.

And everywhere.  Today, for instance, at three intersections in succession I either followed or met someone who couldn’t be bothered to go through the grievously taxing labor of fucking clicking the signal. Or maybe they were just the kind of people who like to keep their options open.  It’s the kind of thing that makes my brother froth.  I as usual am far more patient.





  1. Reminds me of a story I heard from my Buddhist meditation teacher:
    Someone once asked a wise old monk what had been the most difficult obstacle he encountered during his long life as a renunciate, expecting perhaps that he would say something about the long periods of silence or giving up sex.
    “The other monks,” he replied.

  2. I still stand by the designated hitter, but your brother has a significant point.

  3. Dare I ask which brother? In any event, it must be genetic, whatever it is.

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