This morning I’m sending out queries to agents regarding my novel. I made a commitment: two per week, every Sunday. I slacked off the last two Sundays. It’s as pleasant as doing taxes. On the home page of one website, under three columns headlined Sports Entertainment Literary this first sentence of a long paragragh: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adpisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incidiunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.

I took four years of high school Latin, reaching an apex of comprehension my sophomore year. Let’s blame it on my teachers my junior and senior years.   I don’t remember who the junior year teacher was but I’ll never forget Father Callistus. CALLISTUS, he wrote on the blackboard. “In Latin means ‘the beautiful one’.” He would hand out Latin crossword puzzles, his sour/sweet breath on our earlobes, his portly belly pressing against our elbows as he checked our progress. Oh, we were mean to him.

Those crossword puzzles may not helped my Latin proficiency but I see their aptness. Translating Latin for me was like working a crossword puzzle, latching onto a word or two of comprehension and trying to build a whole edifice.

Labore et dolore magna.

I skip this agency.


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