BOO HUMBUG

Godalmighty, Halloween has become a generator of crap on the scale of Christmas. Across the street from where I worked yesterday was a yard crowded with big plastic tombstones and hung bodies and inflatable insects the size of a Lexus. Do they store all the Halloween crap in the garage to give heart attacks to unsuspecting gardeners? Or just send it directly to the dump?  Everywhere you go you see shrubs wrapped in fake webbing. If any of my clients do it to their innocent plants they get to remove it themselves. Let me tell you it looks lovely at Thanksgiving.

Two weeks ago I pruned back a dusty, diseased euonymous covered in the real thing, and by the time I finished there were spiders in my hair, on my arms, down my shirt, a sensation preferable to disgust at all the waste.

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3 responses to “BOO HUMBUG

  1. I used to like Halloween. A walk around the neighborhood with your little kid in a sheet. Now I get to be the wicked witch who answers her doorbell to find teenage boys who haven’t bothered to don costumes and will probably be disgruntled by the “snack size” of the junk candy I’ll offer. My neighbor has turned it around. She demands that the little demons treat her to a trick (tell a joke, sing a song, etc.) before they get their treat. A little push back. . .toward the way things used to be.

  2. “Boo Humbug” so very clever…puts a whole new meaning to being on mushrooms!

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