THE THESAURUS IS MY FAVORITE DINOSAUR

Roget’s International Thesaurus Fifth Edition

Now Completely Revised and Updated

Isn’t that “Now” reassuring? It’s the eternal present.

My guide.  Sometimes I open it dreading that this time

it will fail me. Disillusionment is a synonym of enlightenment.

It has never failed me. Today, I’m sure it’s a sign

I found a mistake. Facing pages had the same

two-word heading (there must be a word for this)

granular-greenhorn.

The right hand page should have read

greenhouse-ground.

I venerate these conjoined words like oracles.

The mistake is no accident, that I stumbled upon it.

It has to do with all the rain we’ve been having

all the weeding I’ve been postponing while writing nonsense.

Last week Roget was in an electioneering spirit

channeling Republican candidates according to polls:

ersatz-evangelical

guide dog-Hades

defy-demagogue

flaunting-flocculent

Yesterday Roget was feeling roger-ish

sodomy-somewhere

personable-phlegmatic

mirth-misrepresentation

What is today’s runic wisdom? crabbed-cream

Before I put it into my coffee I’ll sniff the half-and-half.

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