At the last minute I remembered the tie. How could I almost have forgotten?

I remembered the official forms.

I remembered to remind the soon-to-be-newlyweds to bring the marriage license.

I remembered the papers containing the rubrics of the ceremony.

I remembered the poem I wrote.

I remembered the new blue coat and the white shirt.

I remembered to take the directions to the Panama Hotel.

I remembered to bring buckets to put the flowers in.

I got the flowers at the flower market, with Lisa and Eli’s help.

I remembered the phone charger.

I remembered shampoo, conditioner, and (just in case) my swim suit and goggles.

I remembered not to drink too much wine at the rehearsal dinner.

Dressing for the service it hit me,

I forgot my pants.



  1. Tarpoff & Talbert phone

    Description of buying clothes hilarious. Thank you. And here is the capper. Thanks again. You are GOOD.

    Sent from T&T phone. Pat Talbert & Anet Tarpoff 510.629.0466 CalBRE #01135522

  2. I’m thinking you made the day a very ‘special’ one…..:)


    This was great.

  4. A bad dream, right? Or maybe a wedding improv inspired by this true New York story from Ira Glass?

    It’s a Saturday in January, dead of winter, a crowded subway car, New York City.

    Subway Announcer:
    Stand clear of the closing doors, please.

    Story Teller:
    At the Canal Street station, a guy walks onto the car. He’s wearing a hat, gloves, scarf, and coat, but no pants. At the next stop, Spring Street, someone else gets on with no pants. This continues for half a dozen stops. The car’s filling up with pantless people who don’t seem to know or even notice each other. Reactions vary.
    Some riders avert their eyes. Some laugh out loud. Some stare, turn away, stare again. Finally, at 33rd Street, somebody new comes through the car. It’s a vendor.
    She’s selling pants.

    Female Vendor:
    Big guys, tall guys. Short pants, medium pants. Anyone need pants? $1.

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